I was so young when my world flipped. I didn’t understand and couldn’t comprehend the hurt. My dad passed in such a traumatic way for a 12 year old to understand or even to imagine. I’m not sure I was looking for a father when I accepted Jesus to be my Savior, especially when I couldn’t see Him. I was just aching to see my Dad again, and I was so angry that I couldn’t. I started to blame God for taking my Daddy.
It’s been twelve years since Dad passed. I struggled for nine of those years until I developed an ongoing relationship with Jesus. Three years ago, I cried out in the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my whole life. I started calling out to God and talking to Him. I went back to church for the first time in a long while.
I remember asking God why I had to go through such painful circumstances. He answered me clearer than I’d ever heard Him before. He told me that the relationship I was in was killing me. God saved my life by taking away what I mistakenly thought was real love.
The worst pain I ever felt was the beginning of regrowth and a new life. I took a complete turn and landed right side up! I went sober from everything I was abusing. I handed my “mental illnesses” over to God. I turned my nightmares, my past of abuse and all my sorrows over to Him.
My past may be the beginning of my story but It’s not even close to the end! I have a whole new life ahead of me.
My past may be the beginning of my story but It’s not even close to the end! I have a whole new life ahead of me. I took three years of growing a beautiful relationship with Jesus. His love replaced the wrong and hurtful things in my life, He’s restoring the “years the locust have eaten.” He’s building love in me that I never even knew until I found my true identity in Him. I’ve found a beautiful support system with my Overcomer’s group and others who love Him.
Yes, my past is the beginning but my healing is the most important part. No matter what kind of pain I’ve experienced. It’s leading me to who I’m supposed to be. I’m becoming brand new in the most wonderful way because of Jesus’ love. He is not done with me yet, not even close. I may be afraid sometimes but His love helps me face whatever life brings. My loving Father is working miracles in my life, so I can help others discover His true love. CH RUTH